Then you leave a direct testimony of Ana Isabel, who has also suffered from gestalt:
"I had never heard of Gestalt therapy, all I know is that after 7 years off relationship with my partner and when he was about to throw in the towel, the last year he decided he wanted to fight for the relationship and be together for real, because he loved me and did not want to miss.
I neither wanted to lose him today and despite what happened, I still think that he had been happy, because I felt it myself, I felt good, despite its problems, all we have and the love, after all, cover or disguise because that is love, learn to love the other or love him despite his faults.
Anyway, I have much to say really except that he was convinced to love myself and be with me, and were best friends in the world. But he started going to call Gestalt therapy, I do not know who told him about it, do not know why he thought it would be a good idea to go there.
I had a lot of sessions there. I only know that he seemed happy, he said that the therapist was a little hard on him but he said things which seemed incredible that he knew of his life, I know, I had the feeling that a bit mystified when he spoke so well him, which I never understood their problems were just beyond their insecurities (which everyone has) and his professional ambitions (which everyone has).
Somehow, I think that made him believe he could achieve anything, everything he had dreamed of since I was a teenager, go to the U.S., to develop their potential there, be free and the artist recognized had idealized. I believe that the therapist made him think that was possible and no, I am not mistaken, of course it is possible, but may well not be and that has to mean any failure of life, because from my point of view he had other good qualities I had my loved him unconditionally and that it had proved so over the years, had his family, his friends, the ability to live with me and travel, career opportunities elsewhere in the world.
But unfortunately he preferred to hear the therapist's version, which was obviously more stroking his ego, which perhaps accounted for less effort, the change of address he wanted me there would be no commitment but would be easier if I started from scratch, with no one, like all these years of effort would not have meant anything. And so it happened, it broke me in a humiliating way, completely opposite to what someone says to love someone should do, I was punished first two weeks of silence, I called not once, left me sad and waiting for his words, and I did not know very well what he had done wrong, we had discussed whether it? but that was not love? It was not me who said it was me? the girl I wanted, I know, finally, after I sent an e-mail, e-mail contradictory in that said that I wanted but I had to be alone.
not know what to say, I really was suffering if he could leave me so, I answered dam of compassion, saying that she understood him, then I sank. I spent the most miserable months of my life, did not understand how someone who had loved so much could treat me like this after so many years. Time passed and I realized that he had never loved me, and if I had wanted something strange must have happened to behave so badly with me and leave me that way so humiliating, so sad, so ... I do not know, the few times I talked to him after I saw him forcing himself to believe that what he had done had a broader sense, also surprised at my reproof, as if they understood the damage I had done, wanted to be friends, I spoke as if nothing had happened?
I can not say, I thought and thought and the only thing that occurred to me to explain so absurd and painful change was the Gestalt, I read a bit and I realized that what is intended by the Gestalt impossible, utopian, because obviously people's feelings, obviously that is not life a certain way and that success does not lead to go down a path, particularly along a road that is only a mental representation, a path does not even exist, and no one has proven to be successful or not.
The truth is that writing has shown me that I am not completely cured, which still suffer enough, they'd rather not think about not to fall into depression, attempted to continue with my life but have been 7 years and I still love him a lot, love does not know when but someday pass away.
I just console myself that if a stupid psychoanalytic theory has become the wonder that is before my eyes is that he was a man of weak heart that basically had never been happy with anyone. Just hope you do not wake up from their fantasy, which is not smart enough to realize what are you doing with your life, because if one day wakes up from sleep and discover what has not think I can raise its head in what remains of life.
I am the victim, but perhaps also the winner. Because he is the worst victim. And I hope the time will not do more damage "
We
0 comments:
Post a Comment